What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Well, it's finally going to happen. Dean is moving out. I'm a single parent about to start my first semester of nursing school.

*sigh*

I have such mixed feelings about this it's ridiculous. You would think I'd be really sad. I'm not. It's actually almost a relief not to have to deal with the emotional anguish all the damn time. I'm a little bit sad because we have been together since I was 15...8-9 years is a long time, and we have a child together. Mostly I'm just worried about what the hell I'm going to do about money.

I think this is going to be a good thing. Dean needs to learn to grow up and take responsibility for his life. I need space and time on my own, and I guess in some ways I need to take responsibility too. I've been slacking around the house, and I do rely on Dean to do a lot of things. I think just him not being here and taking that label of partner off of him will help with that.

We are trying to figure out custody right now, but we're not fighting over it. We both agreed that it's easier on us and on her if we don't fight. I'm just glad that this is all happening now when I have a break from school and not in August when I'm in my first semester of nursing classes.

I'm going to start cleaning the apartment today. I need to get rid of everything I don't need and separate out Dean's stuff. I'm also going to start up at the gym again. I've got to get my ass in gear. The crazy thing is, I feel SO much better. I'm not as depressed, I feel like eating well, and I feel like exercising. My entire being has changed for the better. It's like a huge weight has been lifted.

I'd better get to work on the apartment...