I won't bore you all with the details of my childhood, but in short I come from a very different family. I suppose they really aren't all that different, but they are certainly anything but cookie-cutter. My parents have been divorced since I was a baby, and my dad was married to my step-mom for most of my life. My dad was my super hero, and he was there most of my childhood until his battle with addiction got the best of him and he wasn't anymore. My mom was a single working parent with entirely too much on her plate. Her family lives on the east coast for the most part, and we (until recently) lived in sunny Los Angeles, California. Needless to say, I didn't have a very consistent relationship with them. My dad's family...well, let's just not even go there.
The worst of my dad's addiction problems, unfortunately for me, occurred during my high school years. I didn't feel like shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch anymore, and I wasn't a huge fan of football, so I fell in with the outcasts. I got really into punk music, dying my hair, and piercing various body parts whenever I could find a shop that would do it without carding me. Though many of my friends were into drugs, I didn't do much more than smoke and drink, but boy did I do plenty of that. I had no plans. I didn't want to finish high school, let alone go to college. I didn't think I was smart enough, or good enough. The only thing I knew I was good at was make-up and hair. So I dropped out of high school, and signed up for cosmetology school. I was great at it, and I loved doing it, so that worked out pretty well for me. Until I got pregnant.
Dean and I had been together for years. I met Dean when I was 15 and was smitten. He was a bad ass metal kid who wore ripped black jeans, controversial band tees, and a real chain on his wallet (not the cheap ones you get at Hot Topic). Our relationship was tumultuous, and we broke up and got back together often. Things were pretty rocky when I found out I was pregnant (possibly due to my hormones). I cried. He brooded and smoked a lot of cigarettes. I decided I was keeping the baby. I told him that he could stay or go, but he had to decide. I wanted to know if I was in it alone. He ended up staying.
This monumental event in my otherwise mediocre life was really a turning point. As soon as that test came up positive, I quit smoking cold turkey. I completely changed the way I was living. I read books, forum posts, and did everything I could to prepare myself for parenthood at 19 years old. I stayed in school up until my last few months, and planned to return after delivery. At this point, The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy was my bible. I was ready for all the drugs they would give me to take away the "pain" of childbirth. Not discrediting the book in any way, it was really quite hilarious, just not for me now.
One day I was strolling down the 3rd Street Promenade, and I stumbled upon a sign for a prenatal yoga studio called Yo Mama Yoga. Intrigued, I looked it up online and decided to go to a class since I enjoyed yoga prior to my pregnancy, and I thought it would be a good way to get some exercise. The instructor, Katie Wise, was so warm and welcoming and taught a wonderful class. I went back frequently, and thoroughly enjoyed it. She also offered a natural childbirth class at her studio, as well as doula services. After talking with her and doing some research, I decided that the best thing for me and my baby was to have a drug free birth, and Dean and I signed up for Katie's childbirth class. I also hired Katie to be my doula. I felt well prepared, and ready for childbirth. As my due date grew closer, I grew more and more anxious to meet my little girl.
At around 40 weeks, I was starting to get little bouts of prodromal labor. Prodromal labor is often referred to as "false labor." I would basically have consistent contractions for a couple of hours and then they would just stop. Frustrating, but I waited. My doctor had me come in for a few "standard" non-stress tests to make sure that my baby was still happy and healthy since I was now "overdue" in her mind. At my 41 week appointment, my doctor had some concerns about my blood pressure. She decided to take it again after giving me a few minutes to rest, but before leaving the room she said to me, "This is quite a big baby! I wouldn't be surprised if you end up needing a c-section." That was supposed to LOWER my blood pressure?? Thanks doc! It goes without saying that my blood pressure was pretty high with the next reading, so off I went to the hospital for induction.
I will post my birth story, the events that followed, and my struggles with breastfeeding in another post, but basically, Katie inspired me. Katie and my sweet little baby Sophia changed my life completely. I wanted to help women recognize the power of their bodies, and believe in their ability to give birth without drugs. I didn't know how exactly I wanted to do it, but I knew that is what I wanted to do.
Around the time I got pregnant, maybe a bit before, my mom had put her house on the market and was on her way to moving to Asheville, North Carolina. For the most part, Dean and I were on our own in Los Angeles, with financial help from my mom. Rent and cost of utilities and food in LA were just too much, and we both had reservations about raising our daughter there. We decided that the best thing for our family would be to move to Asheville. Moving to Asheville was a new beginning for me. As much as I missed my friends, particularly my dearest friend and Sophia's godfather Stephen, Asheville was a very good move for me.
I found part time seasonal work at The Children's Place, and I started attending A-B Tech's GED program. Dean stayed home with Sophia because the cost of childcare was not worth both of us working. After my second holiday season with TCP, they just didn't have enough hours to give me, and I started looking for more work. The manager at Gymboree came by to recruit for a shift lead position, and my boss gave me a glowing recommendation. Luckily, Sherri (the manager at Gymboree and now my closest friend) took a chance on me and hired me into the position even with my lack of management experience. I went on to become the assistant manager a year later.
I completed my GED, and decided that I wanted to look into what I would need to do to get into the nursing program at A-B Tech. I registered online, and went in to take my placement test and see a counselor. The counselor was condescending and tried to talk me out of applying for the nursing program, saying that it was highly competitive, and maybe I should choose something that wouldn't be so difficult. At that time in my life, my school self esteem was at about a zero. I'd never succeeded in anything other than cosmetology, why would I now? So I signed up for the medical office administration certificate program hoping that my computer skills would get me through and I could find a nice desk job in a doctor's office for above minimum wage pay.
One of the required courses for MOA is BIO 163 which is Basic Anatomy and Physiology. Don't let the "Basic" part of that fool you! There is nothing basic about this class. I signed up for this class as well as 4 others because I was under the impression that this was an easy class (thanks, useless counselors!). I had to drop my 5th class in order to get all of my classwork done. To my complete and utter surprise, I actually liked the class. In high school I'd never been into science or math, and my strongest classes were always English and art. Never in a million years would I have guessed that I would love science, or that I would actually be good at it. After a rough first exam due to a nasty bout of the flu, my following exams were all A's.
One day my teacher, Sarah Gnilka, asked me what I was going into. I told her that I wanted to be a nurse, but for now I was taking medical office administration because a counselor suggested that it would be a better option for me. She looked at me and said, "You go be a nurse. You are too smart to be sitting at a desk filing paperwork. Promise me you will apply. Don't ever let anyone rain on your parade." Once again, someone had completely changed my life. In a class of 40 or so, only about 14 made it to the end of the semester and only about half of those 14 passed with a C or better. I made an A. I finished that semester with 3 A's and a B, and made the Dean's List.
A-B Tech's allied health program admissions are done with a points system. You get 5 points each for ACA 115, ENG 111, MAT 115 or higher, and a 4 credit or higher anatomy and physiology class. Then you can get a maximum of 99 points from the TEAS exam. I figured out what I needed to do to get all 20 points before the next application period, and I started planning my semesters to complete all of the non-nursing classes I would need for the degree. As soon as the application period started, I went into the counseling center and applied. I signed up to take the TEAS and purchased my study book. Somehow I managed to get in a week of studying for the TEAS while also taking 5 classes. I scored 92 points on the TEAS exam; my score is one of the highest ever at A-B Tech, and the national average is a 64. I was floored. I also managed to make 5 A's that semester, landing me a spot on the President's List, and an invitation from Phi Theta Kappa (international honor society).
I am now in my final semester before nursing classes, and I am awaiting my acceptance letter which should arrive in the next 2 to 4 weeks. My beautiful Sophia will be 4 years old in April, and I just can't believe how far we have come.
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